Someone asked us about “Ascension Symptoms,” aka, “Wave X” symptoms, and what they were, so we sat down and spit-balled a list… which degenerated into Friday silliness, but what do you expect from a bunch of CATs? Anyway, here’s an incomplete list of ascension symptoms/body issues:

ASCENSION SYMPTOMS/BODY ISSUES

• Headaches/head pressure
• Body aches/body pressure
• Sharp pains at various chakra points
• Inexplicable pains
• Nausea
• Dizziness
• Gastric/digestion issues
• Insomnia
• “waking up at 3:00 a.m.”
• Extreme heat/extreme cold sensations
• Fever
• Flu-like symptoms
• Intense hunger
• Intense fatigue
• Sporadic bursts of energy
• Inability to concentrate
• Sudden cravings or total loss of appetite
• Anger or sadness or depression (at clearing issues either for yourself, or feeling collective clearing)
• Breathing issues
• Heart palpatations
• Nightmares/bizarre dreams
• Clumsiness, spaz attacks, dropping things
• Seeing things — Seeing things move at the corner of your vision, seeing lights, shadows, mist/fog, light flashes, sparklies, colors, halos of light around people/things, sensitivity to bright light, spirits, dragons, etc.
• NOT seeing things — Blurriness, fuzzyness, distorted vision
• Hearing things — What? Oh. Hearing weird sounds, tones, conversations, granular sounds inside your head (literally the tiny crystals in your pineal gland aligning to the energy), ears ringing, ears popping, “wet-pickle-hitting-your-ear,” etc.
• Sudden happiness
• Sudden feelings of love
• Having water feel less dense on your tongue, as you swallow
• Suddenly smelling superclean air/seeing crystal-blue skies
• Seeing the same numbers everywhere (11:11, 1:11, 2:22, etc.)
• Unusual skin conditions that come and go rapidly
• Sudden or slow hair/nail growth
• Abrupt changes/falling out with job, friends, housing
• Suddenly looking younger — or different — in the mirror
• A sense of urgency
• No sense of urgency
• Electronics fizzing out around you
• Feeling like The Event is going to happen AT ANY MINUTE (ARRG)
• Feeling like you’re reading an endless list
• Communicating with robot lawnmowers.

Ok, we made up the last two, but that’s some list.

You’re basically upgrading while IN a body, which to our knowledge has never happened before. Note that these symptoms can indicate other health issues, especially in certain combinations, so… if you think you’re having a problem, go see your doctor. ALL of the CATs have gone to the ER with some/many/all of the above symptoms. (But PLEASE don’t tell your doctor that you think you’re turning psychic. Or worse, that his dead mother is standing next to him and that she’s very unhappy with his current relationship. One CAT did this and got sent to the Psych Ward — for two years. It took her two years to get out. Hello?)

You might also be experiencing your own psychic “clair-” (clear-) gifts emerging, such as:

LIST OF CLAIR-SENSES

Clairvoyance — seeing things with your Third Eye (6th chakra), aka, “the mind’s eye,” mental images of past, present, or future.

Clairaudience — what? oh, “HEARING THINGS.” Spirit/ET/HOB (Higher Order Being) voices, tones, music, ringing, energy ZAPs, vibrations, static, etc. (The Oversoul/ONE *loves* communicating to clairaudients with music and movie theme songs. It’s quite hilarious, at times; at other times, it’s extremely annoying.)

Clairsentience — just “knowing” something, as well as knowing the Truth when you hear it — and knowing when people are lying. things.” It’s also feeling differences in energy, which can indicate spirits, portals, Wave X, energy attacks, microwaves (HAARP), proximity to certain celebrity egos, etc.

Clairscent — literally smelling energy (it’s pretty cool and dead-useful); certain spirits/beings have a psychic “smell” to their energy. Good spirits can smell like coffee! You can really smell anything that the spirit or being wants yu sto smell, like a favorite perfume, fav food, etc. It’s a bit odd at first.

Clairtangency — aka, psychometry: being able to get impressions by handling an object. A great and terrible gift (“Someone has had sex on this table.”)

Clairgustance —  perceiving the essence of something a substance from the spiritual or ethereal realms through taste.

Clairempathy — aka, being an “empath.” Empaths easily feel what others are feeling, even at a distance, in past, present, or future.

Channeling/Mediums — A channeler allows their body/mind to be used as a mechanism for other beings to speak through, while Mediums are expert at speaking with the spirit world. There’s nothing like a really good Medium. As for channeling, PLEASE don’t attempt this if you’re not trained. All kinds of things are out there to trick you.

Clair-aping — making really accurate ape noises through ape-channeling (this is the best), second only to cheese-channeling.

Phew. That’s enough of that.

See? And you thought we made it up.